March 24, 2025

Finding My Voice: The Power of Standing Up for Myself

For most of my life, I struggled with standing up for myself. I avoided conflict, put others' needs before my own, and bit my tongue even when I felt disrespected. I told myself I was keeping the peace, but deep down, I knew I was sacrificing my own happiness to make others comfortable.

It wasn’t until I reached a breaking point that I realized something had to change. Years of letting things slide had left me feeling drained, unappreciated, and resentful. Whether it was in my job, my personal relationships, or even in everyday interactions, I had spent too long shrinking myself to avoid rocking the boat.

One of the biggest eye-openers for me came from my work. I have a job that often requires long hours and hard labor. For years, I took on extra responsibilities without complaint, even when it meant working late into the night to prepare units for new tenants. I swept a massive parking lot by hand for several years because management wanted to cut costs. I pushed through exhaustion, thinking my hard work would be recognized. But it wasn’t. Instead, the more I gave, the more was expected. No matter how much I did, it was never enough. That’s when it hit me. People treat you based on what you allow. If I didn’t stand up for myself, nothing would change.

The first time I truly stood up for myself was nerve-wracking. I had to tell my employer that I wouldn’t accept not having the vacation I requested. I couldn’t get the requested date off. Not because someone else had already chosen the week (which I would have accepted), but because the company didn’t want to pay someone to clean units while I was away. This was an unrealistic expectation given my salary. I was firm about my stance. That moment taught me something important: speaking up means valuing yourself enough to say, "I deserve better."

The more I stood up for myself, the more my confidence grew. I no longer felt trapped under the weight of other people’s expectations. I wasn’t afraid to voice my opinions, set limits, or walk away from situations that no longer served me. I also learned an important lesson: standing up for yourself doesn’t mean you have to be confrontational. It means being assertive, communicating, and recognizing that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.

If you’ve ever struggled to stand up for yourself, I get it. It’s not easy, especially if you’ve spent years putting others first. But I want you to know that your voice matters. You don’t have to accept less than you deserve.

Here are a few things that helped me along the way: know your worth, no one else will fight for you if you don’t fight for yourself. Speak up with confidence, you don’t need to apologize for having boundaries. It’s okay to say no, you are not obligated to please everyone. And finally, respect yourself first, the way you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.

Standing up for myself has changed my life. It’s not about being difficult or selfish. It’s about choosing me for once. And that, I’ve learned, is one of the most powerful things I can do.